TOP TEN LIST: Sandy’s New Excuses

Feel the excitement.

Feel the excitement.

One thing that has become clear about Sandy Alderson. He was hired primarily to be a human pinata, someone to stand out front and explain away the absurdity of a Wilpon owned Mets team. This offseason it’s becoming difficult for Sandy to do his job, as many of his original excuses have reached their expiration date. The contracts he inherited have rolled off the books, and it’s getting harder every day to blame the present on the past.

The problem for Sandy is people actually want the team to improve on the field. The nerve! Anyway, we haven’t done a Top Ten in a while, and he seems to be running out of things to say. And I always want to help if I can. So, here we go, Sandy, my Top Ten New Excuses. You can have them all.

10. I work for Jeff Wilpon!

Jeff Hat

 

 

 

 

9. You try to trade Ike Davis.

8. When I went to stack those five dollar bills, I found out it was all Confederate money.

7. A lot of people think JayZ is with Boyz II Men.

Boyz II Men

6. It’s Ruben Tejada’s fault (oh wait, this isn’t so new.)

5. I hadn’t realized collusion was over.

4. When we did spend it was on Ricciardi and DePodesta.

JP

 

 

 

 

3. Whether we have a winning team will depend upon your definition of “winning.”

2. It’s sad that fans are not happy with a crappy losing team.

1. We could build a team, or build a mall. We picked the mall.

willets-devw

 

 

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20 comments

  1. Patrick Boegel says:

    “I do think there will be a combination of more proactivity internally as well as a willingness in some instances to wait and see not whether the market changes, but what’s available to us later,”

    -Sandy Alderson

    • I’ve been thinking about making this a poem since I first read it a few days ago. It has a wonderful musical quality.

      • RAFF says:

        How about a nice Haiku? Asian Fusion is very trendy…
        Willingness to wait
        Internally proactive
        hope for market change

      • Patrick Boegel says:

        I Do Think, S. Alderson Esquire

        I do think.
        I do think.
        Of more proactivity.
        Of more proactivity.
        And see not.
        And see not.
        Later.
        Later.

        *played to Jazz Flute.

        • RAFF says:

          Brings new meaning to “rhyming-couplets”. Not exactly Chaucer>>> Singing he was, or fluting all the day;/He was as fresh as is the month of May

  2. Eddie Wilkowski says:

    The stark reality for the Met fan is that Alderson and the other Two Not So Wise Men aren’t going to be doing much to tangibly improve this Met team. Just more lawyer speak and double talk.

    • Alan K. says:

      Alderson threw his cap over the wall when he said he was going to spend the money he was no longer paying Johan and Bay and would be upgrading the offense. He was the one who pointed to this off-season as the year when he would have flexibility to spend. If he does an about face and tries to backtrack and lower expectations because of free agent “sticker shock” the majority of fans will believe that they were lied to.

  3. Eraff says:

    The TROIKA!… I’ve said it many times….

    i’D RATHER HAVE A LEFT FIELDER

  4. RAFF says:

    Patrick – you’re coming around to my “Second Bullet” theory. These geniuses may actually believe that they are going to catch an opportunity on a rebound, when some of the teams which have invested heavily experience crappy results with he teams they have assembled.

    • Patrick Boegel says:

      I think you may be mistaking what I take that quote to mean. To me it is the words of a Politician. It is quite, Orwellian in nature.

  5. Ken H. says:

    I’ll play the role of good cop until the winter meetings are over. Sandy has been very clear about expectations around the arrival of 2014 since he walked in the door. The big ticket free agents that would seemingly make the most sense for the Mets, i.e., Choo, Granderson, Ellsbury, etc, are still available. Sandy and Fred are too smart to think they can go into spring training without one of these guys or some comparable alternative.

  6. IB says:

    I like #3 the best. As Patrick points out, it has an Orwellian quality. In Alderson’s dystopia “Directness is Lying”, “Losing is Power”

    And so on

  7. RAFF says:

    I can’t imagine what “market change” Alderson could possibly be waiting for. The most basic Market Change has already happened. A $25million per team influx of additional money constitutes a Demand Curve Shift, which even the dullest Macro- Economics 101 student easily understands.

    • Michael Geus says:

      There was an embarrassing post on this on Metsblog today. I get why an SNY sponsored blog can’t go too far on some topics, better to just skip them entirely.

  8. Eraff says:

    Rock Ridge…ROCK RIDGE!!!…. Yeeeessss….YEsssss

  9. RAFF says:

    At this point, I cannot figure out what the hell this guy is doing… It’s as if Perrillo Tours added a “FABULOUS GM DESTINATIONS” package to their chaperoned sight-seeing offering, and Alderson is on the bus…… THRILL to the sights and sounds of our full GM Hot-Stove tour package10 Fabulous Cities, 90 Spectacular nights!!! Meet the Players, close up!!- Dinners with Cano, JayZee, & Granderson…Strumming Guitar by the bonfire fire Bronson Arroyo!!!! Poolside Bar with the real GM’s and Agents…- Full Window-Shopping and tire-kicking EXTRAVAGANZAS!!! New York!!!!, Orlando!!!, Fort Myers!!! Book now, and our “Be-The-GM” Open-Mike bonus is yours, FREE!!!

  10. Eric says:

    He’s demonstrating THE MET APPROACH…..

    He takes lots of pitches…….

  11. [...] while some people believed the lies, eventually nobody did. That is the thing about constant lying. As I joked yesterday, these guys are running out of crap to say. And one consequence of the team’s belief in a culture [...]

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