One thing that has become clear about Sandy Alderson. He was hired primarily to be a human pinata, someone to stand out front and explain away the absurdity of a Wilpon owned Mets team. This offseason it’s becoming difficult for Sandy to do his job, as many of his original excuses have reached their expiration date. The contracts he inherited have rolled off the books, and it’s getting harder every day to blame the present on the past.
The problem for Sandy is people actually want the team to improve on the field. The nerve! Anyway, we haven’t done a Top Ten in a while, and he seems to be running out of things to say. And I always want to help if I can. So, here we go, Sandy, my Top Ten New Excuses. You can have them all.
10. I work for Jeff Wilpon!
9. You try to trade Ike Davis.
8. When I went to stack those five dollar bills, I found out it was all Confederate money.
7. A lot of people think JayZ is with Boyz II Men.
6. It’s Ruben Tejada’s fault (oh wait, this isn’t so new.)
5. I hadn’t realized collusion was over.
4. When we did spend it was on Ricciardi and DePodesta.
3. Whether we have a winning team will depend upon your definition of “winning.”
2. It’s sad that fans are not happy with a crappy losing team.
1. We could build a team, or build a mall. We picked the mall.