The Big List of 45 Predictions, Including Won-Loss for 2014

Crystal-Ball-12-27-09-iStock_000003107697XSmall

Mike:

Well, look at that, Opening Day beckons, our second as bloggers. As we did last year, we have looked into our respective crystal balls and offer our faithful readers our Big List of Predictions.

Jimmy:

I predicted you’d do this!

Mike:

Zack Wheeler becomes our best starting pitcher.

Jimmy:

Ruben Tejada begins to exhibit signs of post-traumatic stress disorder. On May 3, in a move reminiscent of Richie Allen, Ruben uses his cleat to write a message into the infield dirt, “HUG ME.” And a few days later: “I’M NOT FAT! YOU’RE FAT!”

Im Not fatMike:

Vic Black is the right-handed Robert Carson.

Jimmy:

Eight seconds after Adam Rubin posts an April lineup, I will text you this: “WTF??!!””

Mike:

When asked why Omar Quintanilla is on the roster, Sandy Alderson says, “He gives us the best chance to win 90 games.” Then he laughs and laughs and laughs some more.

Alderson-400x309

Jimmy:

Matt den Dekker called up and platoons in CF with Juan Lagares. It works, but soon people start talking about the Dykstra/Wilson problem.

Mike:

At the end of the year the first-base situation is still not settled.

Jimmy:

Bartolo Colon injures a calf. And by that I mean, he attacks a young cow with a folk and a bottle of hot sauce.

Mike:

Curtis Granderson hits 30 home runs.

Jimmy:

Travis d’Arnaud spends too much time with Dave Hudgens, begins to look tentative and confused at the plate, at which point Hudgens sagely nods and says, “Exactly, grasshopper!”

Mike:

On May 14, Jeff Wilpon has a lavish ceremony honoring Derek Jeter, who also throws out the first ball before the game. The Mets win on a walk-off Grand Slam by Ruben Tejada 4-3.

Jeff Wilpon laughing

Jimmy:

Ike Davis debuts a new batting stance in May and calls it the Frozen Lotus. He goes into another tailspin and is sent down to Vegas to work things out, where he meets a showgirl and joins the circus.

Mike:

Replay solves nothing, and managers start using challenges as a stall tactic to allow LOOGYs more time to warm up nightly.

Jimmy:

Jeurys Familia makes the All-Star team.

Mike:

Jose Valverde works out.

Jimmy:

Wait, by “works out” do you mean . . . exercises? I’m not seeing it.

Fat Camp

Mike:

On May 15 Mariano Rivera ends his retirement and is re-installed as Yankees closer. Jeff Wilpon has a lavish cermeony to welcome Rivera back to baseball. The Mets win that night 2-1, the winning run scoring on a suspicious looking error by Derek Jeter.

Jimmy:

Jonathan Niese requests his 5th MRI of the season. Suspicious, Niese discovers that the Mets medical staff has not actually had the machine plugged in for the previous 4 MRIs. They faked the results with magic markers and construction paper.

Mike:

The team still has an outside shot in July, but stands pat and makes no deals.

Jimmy:

Jake deGrom called up to work out of the pen. Still no haircut.

deGrom1

Mike:

Anthony Recker hits more home runs than Travis d’Arnaud.

Jimmy:

After struggles and bad stretches, Travis d’Arnaud establishes himself as a quality major league catcher, hits above .280 in second-half of the season.

Mike:

Rafael Montero sits in Las Vegas until mid-June, and Sandy assures everyone it has nothing to do with Super 2.

Jimmy:

At age 31, David Wright misses 35 games to injury.

Mike:

In a live interview on WFAN, when Fred Wilpon is asked who his favorite Mets are, he answers, “Podres, Erskine, and Snider.”

Dem Bums

Jimmy:

Relatives of Podres, Snider and Erskine quickly move to distance themselves from Wilpon family.

Mike:

Noah Syndergaard leads the PCL in all pitching categories but is never promoted.

Jimmy:

My Ouiji Board has Noah on the annual Mets Super 2 track, following the established pattern of Harvey and Wheeler. Something’s got to give.

Mike:

The news on Jon Niese is not good.

Jimmy:

Mets fans actually come to look forward to injuries, because that’s the only way to jump start the youth movement.

Mike:

Chris Young has a solid year and is never traded.

Jimmy:

The “promise” becomes an issue as early as June, when Chris Young struggles but continues to get regular starts.

Mike:

Stephen Drew signs a four-year contract with the Hiroshima Carp.

carp-blog-002

Jimmy:

Cesar Izturis, NY Mets starting shortstop!

Mike:

Daniel Murphy has a very good season.

Jimmy:

Daniel Murphy gets traded.

Mike:

In August the Mets beat the Phillies 1-0, with the winning run scoring in the ninth on four consecutive walks. A beaming Sandy Alderson calls it the greatest moment of his career.

Jimmy:

In a troubling development, after a particularly rough outing, Zack Wheeler starts licking his palms.

Mike:

Crazed and drunken “News Heads” storm the field in the ninth inning on the night of the Huey Lewis concert and the Mets forfeit the game.

Disco Demolition Night

Jimmy:

Terry Collins unveils new triple-leadoff concept by batting pitcher 7th in the order.

Mike:

In September Sandy Alderson trashes Ruben Tejada and says there is no way he will be back again in 2015.

Jimmy:

Howard Johnson named assistant to the assistant hitting coach, Luis Natera.

Mike:

84 wins.

Jimmy:

Fortunately for the Mets, they are in a broken division. Philadelphia is a mess, the Marlins are not better, and the Braves starting pitching suddenly looks vulnerable. Thanks to that, 79 wins, 3rd place.

 

 

 

 

 

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12 comments

  1. Eric says:

    Funny, to me, Wheeler already has his version of licking his palms that drives me nuts. Ever notice how after he throws the ball, he grabs the back of his sleeve? It makes me involuntarily lick my palms…

  2. Love the one about Colon injuring a “calf.” D’Arnoud already looks tentative and confused, though like you, I think he’ll begin to get it together as the season progresses. He did look good framing pitches for Dice-K yesterday against Toronto, though. And I also have them pegged at around 79 wins.

  3. Thanks, William. I really get a sick feeling in my stomach when I read about Sandy’s dictums about hitting. I see more negatives than positives in his insistence on a passive approach to hitting. D’Arnaud could be the next guy they screw up. Also, I feel none of it bodes well for Juan Lagares, whom Sandy clearly dislikes; he doesn’t fit the mold. Very hard for a player to overcome a management team that is rooting against him. I know that sounds crazy to write, but it’s what I believe.

    Could have been an 85-win team, a decision here, a tweak there. Who knows, maybe still could be, but my 79-win prediction is based on a distrust of the decision-making process.

  4. Brian Joura says:

    I enjoyed this piece.

  5. Reese Kaplan says:

    No predictions on Eric Young, Jr vis a vis Juan Lagares? (nice work…I always appreciate a good tongue-in-cheek look at our favorite team!)

    • Michael Geus says:

      It was in the original draft and then the editorial staff cut it. They are very firm that we keep to 45 predictions, total.

  6. I’ve been saying all along that it’s a setup for Juan Lagares to fail. Maybe he would have failed on his own, I don’t know, but I see him playing without a net, as nobody in the organization has his back (and yet he’s super popular with fans and pitchers). By not solving SS and 1B, by not getting a leadoff man, the pressures on Lagares will be greater than ever. Anyway, it really could work out. EY should be an asset if used properly. I just think it’s crazy to believe he’s an everyday player or better than Lagares. If EY starts, it weakens the OF defense in two positions. I don’t think his offensive production will justify that. But Lagares does not walk enough and Sandy is insane on that subject, just not his kind of player. My feeling remains that Chris Young was brought in to play CF for the Mets — but they realize that Lagares has made that move difficult, PR-wise, for the time being.

  7. RAFF says:

    Reaching out to the 2-Guys Community to help me better understand the Mets’ decision to send Dice-K down and keep Mejia as the #5 starter. Dice-K looked very sharp in his last Spring Training start- 8 K’s and no walks in 5 innings- Got away with a couple hanging off-speed pitches, but he looked terrific. My understanding is that they have no “options” on DK… If they bring him up, they can’t send him back down without exposing him on a waiver. If I understand this correctly, it makes this a safe and savvy move. additionally, I believe there’s something about Mejia’s status which makes him unavailable for a recall, as they start the season. Do any of you know the rules as it pertains to this early season “move”.

  8. Michael Geus says:

    If Meija were sent down he has to spend a minimum of ten days in the minors. Dice had been signed to a minor league contract in the winter, so he was never technically “up,” therefore he can be brought back at any time. And yes, if Matsuzaka is added to the 25 man roster he would have to be pass through waivers before he could return to the minors.

  9. Eraff says:

    Wow—so the move was well thought!

  10. Michael Geus says:

    A couple more from my friend Sandy.

    Wins – 90

    First Base – Don’t rush me!

  11. […] on March 30th, we posted a big list of semi-serious predictions for the 2014 season. It’s still fairly entertaining and surprisingly accurate (in […]

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