HIGHLIGHTS FROM THE INTERWEBS — Jordany Fan Fiction, Too Many K’s and Other Crummy Ideas, Bay at Leadoff, 40 Man Countdown, and More.

Okay, folks, let’s take it Around the Horn. And remember our motto, “If it’s not snappy, it’s crappy!” 

* Thank you, Howard Megdal, for this piece of ballsy brilliance. Over at Howard’s The LoHud Mets Blog, he came up with a great idea for a writing prompt based on this incident, shown below:


Writes Howard:

I have a copy of Knuckleball! to give away, and it goes to whoever comes up with the best Jordany Valdespin Fan Fiction. I’ll publish it on the site, so it needs to be vaguely newspaper appropriate. But I’m leaving this open-ended, because, well, I think Valdespin is open-ended as it gets. Please send submissions to Lohudmets@gmail.com. Pasted into email, no attachments, please. Deadline for submissions is next Wednesday, March 20, 11:59 PM EST.

It got me thinking about those classic Reader’s Digest health pieces that used to run years ago, “I am Joe’s . . . ” Each article would feature the inner-workings of a different body part, the pancreas, the liver, tongue, and so on. All the articles were eventually compiled in a paperback, I Am Joe’s Body.


I won’t be entering, but feel free to send Mr. Megdal a missive titled, “I Am Jordany’s Busted Nutsack.”

* Speaking of Zany Jordany, here’s a good piece about the Mets’ colorful prospect, written by Jared Diamond in The Wall Street Journal.

Welcome to the bizarre and magical world of Jordany Valdespin, where baseballs fly over fences, Salsa music plays on an endless loop—and common sense sometimes gives way to exuberance and good times. With Valdespin continuing to build a case for a spot on the major-league roster, the Mets now face the challenge of toning down his antics—without stifling his ability to perform.

As a fan, it’s hard to assess these reports from a distance. But I have to wonder how much of the personality issues are a result of a cultural divide in the Mets clubhouse. They are “Los Mets” no longer.

* Sticking with today’s zany theme, the Seattle Mariners are thinking about batting Jason Bay in the leadoff position. The reasoning is that since he’s not a middle of the order guy anymore, maybe he’ll walk. I loved the first fan comment below the article: “Somehow, I’m not feeling this.

Jason Bay

* Bryan Zarpentine at Rant Sports makes the argument that Matt Harvey needs to learn how to pitch to contact and strike out fewer batters. In the name of efficiency and working deeper into games. Well, folks, let me go on record to say: I HATE THIS IDEA. I hate it with every fiber of my being. With my pancreas. With my liver. With my busted . . . Sigh. It comes up every year about some pitcher, somewhere, and I always hate it. I’m sorry, but I’ll take that one true outcome any day of the week. Can you imagine somebody trying to get into Seaver’s ear in early 1968, “Listen, Tom. Strikeouts are not very efficient . . .


* Chris McShane at Amazin’ Avenue asks the question on everyone’s tongue: “Should the Mets Pick Up Brennan Boesch?” He concludes:

That said, the Mets wouldn’t be risking much by signing him to a minor league deal. If there’s one upside to Boesch, it’s that he has actually been better against left-handed pitching than right-handed pitching — the Justin Turner split, if you will — and wouldn’t be much of a liability in typical platoon situations. He’s not an everyday big leaguer at this point, but the Mets aren’t exactly loaded with those in the outfield right now and may as well roll the dice on another player.


Personally, yawn, why bother? The Mets don’t need more deeply-flawed outfielders who can’t field. It’s like replacing Lucas Duda with . . . Lucas Duda. I mean, flip a coin.

* Finally, in yet another fine piece of blogging from the team at Mack’s Mets, Soto brings the facts and takes a look at the challenges the Mets face as they add to, and discard from, their 40 Man Roster. Worth a ponder, methinks. In the comments section, Mack Ade raises the provocative notion: Would you be willing to feature Bobby Parnell in a trade for a promising outfield prospect?

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  1. I keep wanting to rewrite the lyrics to one of the greatest songs ever written, Jimmy Webb’s “Wichita Lineman.”

    “I am Jordany’s wounded weiner . . .”

    But that would be sophomoric, and we don’t do that around here.


  2. W.k. kortas says:

    I’m guessing that, at some point in his childhood, Jordany’s mother dropped the classic “You’ll put out your eye doing that!!” He should be so lucky.

  3. Michael Geus says:

    This topic?

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